Yesterday was not a good day. I felt fat and therefore ugly. I know I have put on weight and with the my wedding being about a month away I suddenly panicked. For once I want to be a beautiful bride. I want to look drop dead gorgeous in my pictures. I want to be remembered as beautiful... Truth be told though, my children will never think of me as "fat". What they will remember is the love I gave them, the smiles and all the fun we have together. They will laugh at all the times I teased them or made their favorite foods just because I love them. Nothing else matters to them. Then why can't I see myself through their eyes?
I know I am not alone here. Every woman struggles with something about her image. It could be weight, hair, breasts, butts... Doesn't matter. You ask a woman to point out a part of her body she does not like and she will give you 10 without blinking an eye. Unfortunately, it's true. I have been watching "Inside the Glamour Studio" with Sue Bryce that was taped at CreativeLive in September. Sue photographs women. And they are drop dead gorgeous. But more than that, I love her philosophy. Women are beautiful. They should be photographed regardless of their size. Losing weight (or gaining it) is nothing. Your children and husband won't love you more for it. You need to live now, with who you are right now. That person you were 20 years ago or who you want to be 2 years from now does not exist. You are you now. And you are definitely beautiful for it.
This has struck a chord with me. Especially this morning. I was thinking of all the beautiful women I have photographed. Women who have their own insecurities. Who claim to not be photogenic. And yet every time I see their pictures all I can think of is how gorgeous they are (and how I wish I could be more like them). I am not Sue Bryce. I don't take pictures like her (although the more I think about it, the more I want to incorporate it into what I already do). However, I do love these pictures. So while I am still struggling with my self image and dreaming of a trip to Australia to be photographed by Sue, I am going to try to relax a little. I am getting married whether I am skinny or not. I will be photographed. And I will have a great time. I am now.
Thank you, my beautiful clients for allowing me to capture your "nows".